A flash of lightning was spotted in the distance. The soccer pitches were cleared. All players and spectators needing to report inside. A short while later, the wind kicked up. What had been a calm evening of watching a soccer match suddenly changed. Chairs and gear were packed up and the stairs leaving the pitch were suddenly clogged with players, coaches, and fans.
In that moment, my impatience reared its head. Those walking in front of me were in no rush. Their steps leisurely at best. Behind them, people backed up waiting for them to get a move on. A spot opened and my teacher walking pace kicked in. I just had to get past them.
I’m not sure what the prize was. I got to the bottom of the steps faster. I got to my car before rain drops spattered my windshield. But a reward? There really wasn’t one. My impatience, that was on full display.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14 (NIV)
Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God. Psalm 27:14 (MSG)
God’s been doing a waiting work in my soul in the last while. He keeps saying wait. It’s on repeat – over and over again. I keep wondering for what. Why am I waiting? What is the purpose of this experience? Is there some sort of change that I’m meant to be experiencing? Is there some lesson that I’ve missed so far that I’m meant to be gaining? But, in the middle of all of my questions, the word wait is at the forefront of my mind.
It’s in these moments of waiting that my patience or rather lack thereof has manifested itself. I do things. I move. I am given a task and I want it to get done. I don’t want to miss the deadline. I want it checked off the to do list of work, home or life.
Waiting feels so passive. I’m not accomplishing in the waiting. In my mind, for something to have purpose, something must be done to accomplish it. But this waiting period, doesn’t have a to do list attached to it. It’s a sit and be still. There’s an air of anticipation with it. But what is being anticipated? I have absolutely no idea.
According to David, waiting takes strength and courage. Clearly, he felt uncomfortable in the middle of the waiting periods that he encountered. The strength to stay in the wait, that’s more strength than I realized I needed. I’m certain I haven’t acquired that strength yet. Take heart – I’ve wanted to bail out of this waiting thing for a while now. I want to get on with it. God, just give me the assignment and I’ll make it happen. Oh, my can-do spirit is sometimes so not helpful. Courage would not be needed if waiting was simple and easily done. Take heart – I know there’s a purpose to all of this. I don’t know what it is. I know my patience is being stretched in ways it hasn’t before. I know I’m not finished growing in that particular Fruit of the Spirit.
I wait. I am looking forward to finding out what the waiting was for. It has a purpose, of that I am sure. I know it will be good because it will come from my Father’s hand and He is good beyond measure.