I woke up, a heart in turmoil. I did not expect it. I should not have been surprised.
Change is not necessarily always welcome in my heart and head. It is frequently greeted with a sense of dread. I like my reality, the perks and quirks that make it what it is. I know it. It is familiar. Why change it? I sometimes greet it with a look of disdain. How dare change announce itself! You are not welcome or invited! Go away! It is sometimes met with a timid smile. It is something I will consider. I may not completely agree with it, but I will wonder about it and maybe accept it. I wonder about the reasons why I do not embrace change with open arms. Instead of looking at it in fear and dread, welcoming the new experience would definitely alter my outlook. Change rarely keeps itself away. There are constant changes happening all around me. None of this is a surprise.
However, the anxiety built up in my heart does not go away simply because I say the right words or think positive thoughts. No matter how hard I try, the uncertainty remains beckoning me to places of worry and hand wringing.
In a moment of quiet, when my heart was longing for more than worry, peace was found. “Be still and know that I am God.” The words of Psalm 46:10 echoed in my heart and mind. Unlike my stormy thoughts, filled with gloom and dread, this was the peace my soul craved. The shelter my heart was desperate for.
Be still. My days are filled with movement. In and out, through the doors, arrive at the destination, make the most of the time, do not waste a single moment. Be still. Stop. Wait, not in foot-tapping impatience, but in the peace of a secure, still heart. Still the hands. Still the mind. Still the heart. Be still. A confident quiet that exists if I allow Him and request Him to shoulder the burden. Be still.
Know that I am God. Too often my head knows it. My heart agrees but it does not always easily acquiesce. I am confident in my ability to deal with situations myself. To solve it. To make sure it all goes off perfectly. None of that is really true. There are too many parts of my life that I simply cannot control in any way. They were never mine to hold in the first place. Rather, I have chosen the illusion that I know better rather than trusting that He is God. In those murky waters of thought, it is so easy to lose myself. To slip on the rocky shoal that is hidden from view. God promises that He will not change. God promises that He will never leave me or abandon me. He promises that He has a plan. He has proven Himself faithful countless times in the past and can be trusted with the future. He tells me over and over that He knows me and that His love is abounding towards me. Know that I am God.
Be still. Stay in the place of His presence. Know that I am God. I AM goes before me. Know Him.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10