When the tank is empty …


The alarm rang. I wanted to ignore the incessant beeping that was changing my level of consciousness. I couldn’t.

My first thought was I have nothing to give. Nothing to write. Nothing to say. I’m depleted of thoughts, of energy, of emotion. All of the reserve was poured out in meetings yesterday. There was absolutely nothing left. I wondered how I would be able to teach, how I would have energy for the learners who would be coming through my door later on in the morning. From where would I call up the endurance needed for another day.

Matt Redman’s song When My Heart Runs Dry immediately came to mind. Today my heart was dry. There was nothing. However, there was no reason for me to attempt to do the day on my own. There is always One who walks with me. One whose strength is all that I will ever need to accomplish any task no matter how big or how small. One who is able to carry me through valleys of sadness and grief. One who marks the path be it winding or straight forward. One whose steps I was meant to place my feet into. It is a matter of choosing to remember that He has gone before me. That He has made a way through, regardless of the landscape, be it wilderness or land of plenty. That His arms are stretched wide reminding me of His embrace and His request and desire to carry my load. One who will not let me go no matter what the state of my heart.

So while I began the day with an empty heart, I can testify to His ability to carry me through. My soul has found comfort in His embrace and His endurance. He has been, and will always be, the sustainer of my soul.


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