I’m that girl. The one who has sat at the back wondering if the whole “listening to God thing” was someone’s idea of a joke.
I’m that girl. The one who has looked her spiritual mentor in the eye and said (out loud), “God talks to you, but He doesn’t talk to me!”
I’m that girl. The one who has been convinced that the ways I have heard God speak before don’t really count.
I’m that girl. The one who convinced herself that God’s voice had to sound a certain way.
I’m that girl. The one who has believed that God only speaks sometimes but certainly not consistently, certainly not in a way that is meant to be understood.
I’m that girl. The one who has been convinced that I’m not spiritual enough, or something, to really hear God speak.
If there has been an excuse that could have been used, argued, trudged out for approval, for the ways that I can’t possibly be hearing God – I promise you I’ve tried it. I have said them in my head. I’ve believed them in my heart. I’ve whispered them to myself in moments of despair. I’ve said it out loud with conviction believing it to be true.
And all of it, the whole lot of it, was bunk. Not one of my excuses was valid. They were simply excuses. I blissfully followed them down the path to frustration and anger with God. What was the point of this relationship if only one of us was talking? I was tired of hearing myself talk and I was getting absolutely nothing back!
What I didn’t understand was that God had been and was speaking to me all the time. It turned out I was a deplorable listener. I was so busy paying attention to all the things around me, the noise of my world, all of the lies that were whispered in the dark corners of my heart and soul. I was choosing the voice that spouted anger and frustration, the one that came to steal, kill and destroy. That voice I knew well. That was the only voice I gave any attention too. That was the loud voice. The still, gentle, loving, tender Voice of my Father – that Voice had been intentionally drowned out.
My tune has changed.
I’m that girl. The one who is absolutely convinced that God speaks.
I’m that girl. The one who is sure that God speaks clearly wanting me to know the path and direction He has for me.
I’m that girl. The one who is becoming more attentive so that hearing His Voice is a sure and certain experience.
I’m that girl. The one who knows that God speaks uniquely to each of His children. We are each wired to hear Him.
I’m that girl. The one who hears Him more often and is learning to obey.
I would love to say this happened overnight. That would be a lie! It’s been a journey of years. Even though I have been a follower of Jesus for most of my life, I am new to listening to God’s Voice. Truly hearing God’s Voice, that’s been an adventure that began with Solemn Assembly four years ago. Jesus’ Voice, there is a tenderness and gentleness that is unmistakeable. His Voice is usually quiet and soft, best heard when my head and heart are able to be still. His Voice speaks life and encouragement and hope. His Voice, quiet and tender though it may be, demands obedience. His Voice is the one I crave.
Solemn Assembly 2016 started today! I know God will show up – He does. I know He will reveal more of Himself – He does that too! I know He will speak – of this I am most certainly convinced. I pray for ears that are open, a listening mind and heart.