I stood in an entryway, prepared to leave. A family member asked “How are you” with obvious concern painting her features.
How am I? Of that I am not entirely certain.
Sad comes to mind. But that seems too trivial. My eyelids are heavy as if they can barely muster the ability to unveil my eyes. Frequently, they are swollen because tears have traced their paths down my cheeks.
Tired comes quickly on the heels of sad. I sleep, but each morning as I awake, I feel as though I do not have the strength to face the day that is ahead. But I choose to soldier on knowing that there is a plan known by my Father for each day. He has caused me to awake and therefore the day is meant to be lived in His presence and for His glory.
Feeble comes along too. It’s not the old age part of feeble, but it’s the weak and tired parts of feeble that are close at hand. Do I have the stamina that I need? The emotional reserves to weather the events of the day?
Even as all of these thoughts and feelings are constant parts of my day, the ministry of God’s Word has flooded my mind and being. These passages have been the rallying cry of my wounded heart.
My God will meet all your needs. He will meet them in keeping with his wonderful riches. These riches come to you because you belong to Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 (NIRV)
Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, do not fear; your God will come … Isaiah 35:3, 4a
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10b
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4
There is none holy like the Lord: for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God. The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength. I Samuel 2:2, 4 (ESV)
I was never intended to carry the burdens of grief and loss alone. My Father who loves me deeply, who has wept His own tears of loss, knows well what my heart feels. He continues to reassure me and remind me of His presence. I need the reassurance that He goes with me. I need the reminders that He is strong when I am so very weak. I crave the sustenance of His strength to meet the challenges that life throws in front of me. I cling to the knowledge that He strengthens the weak hearts and hands. I hold on to the reminders that He is always with me.
The strength to stand is not my own. It is all His. His provision and His care.