I stood in the lobby of the fanciest hotel I had ever been in and felt rather overwhelmed. I was a tourist, dressed as a tourist, definitely not decked out in my finest. In my jaded perception, everyone else that I was travelling with was more prepared for the opulence and elegance. I felt like a ruffian whose attempts to pick her jaw up off the floor were taking much too long. There had to be some mistake, granted it was a very beautiful mistake, but I felt under-qualified to stay in that particular hotel.
But, there was a reservation in my name. A room was prepared for me. I was meant to take up residence there, granted it was temporary. But, I was meant to make myself at home.
Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? Psalm 15:1 (NIV)
God, who gets invited to dinner at your place? How do we get on your guest list? Psalm 15:1 (MSG)
I often come before God with the same doubts and niggles weighing in from all sides. The God who throws open His arms of love for me, beckons me to come into His presence, to draw near to His side. Instead of running in and clamouring into His lap, I sometimes hesitate to darken the door. In those moments, I perceive my God to be the judge and jury instead of the Father who desires intimate relationship with me. Oh, He is just. But His mercy knows no bounds. Both exist together in perfect harmony and as a result, I am welcome, brought in close and reminded that I am cherished. I am deeply loved. My name is on the guest list. The RSVP has been returned confirming my welcomed attendance. It is a matter of choice – will I enter in?
Having my name on His guest list will undoubtedly causes some changes in my life and character. I desire to please the One who has made me in His image. I desire to be known as His daughter with my words and actions declaring my allegiance and devotion to Him. So I will choose to
“Walk straight, act right, tell the truth. Don’t hurt your friend, don’t blame your neighbour; despise the despicable. Keep your word even when it costs you, make an honest living, never take a bribe. You’ll never get blacklisted if you live like this.” Psalm 15:2-5 (MSG)
It’s not always easy to live like this. It will cost some friendships. Decisions made will be questioned and not necessarily understood. Fitting in may become something of a distant memory.
But it was never about my personal comfort. When I seek His face and pursue the life He calls me to, joy is found in His presence. When I abandon the darkened corners and run with abandon towards my Father, He greets me with warmth and affection. Love pours from His being. He’s been longing for me to come. I wasn’t meant to get lost in the opulence of our surroundings. I was meant to be completely surrendered to and lost in the lavishness of His love.