It was a gray and overcast day today and my soul had the opportunity to join the dumps. Joy was announced for a friend, and immediately I was faced with the opportunity to lament my circumstances. I was pretty close to choosing the dumps regardless of the fact that it would have affected my entire day.
My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you … Psalm 42:6a (NIV)
When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you … Psalm 42:6a (MSG)
I have lots of ways of remembering. I have the calendar with anniversaries and birthdays helping me remember when to send out the appropriate greeting. The work calendar is full of reminders and special events. The family calendar notes all of the hockey games auntie is invited to. I have alarms to wake me up in the morning. That reminder is essential. Bells guide me throughout my day. Sign up sheets are all over the place reminding me to take and return items. The To Do list never really ever goes away. I cannot escape attempts to help me remember.
But I am quick to forget that my God has a plan. I am quick to think that He is not working on my behalf. I am quick to forget the ways He continuously intervenes in my life.
Why is it I am better at remembering the demands of my day rather than what my God has done for me? I wonder if it isn’t the tyranny of the urgent. Everything else, all the other reminders in my life, call out for my attention. They seem to be very loud and insistent, like a cow bell at a hockey game. They are hard to forget.
My God speaks disregarding time. In order to really engage with Him, I need to still the monkeys that swirl around in my head. He isn’t looking for a quick check in, a fast catch up. He’s looking for the sit down experience where I carve time out of my schedule to purposefully connect with Him. He isn’t looking for the twelve minute meal. Rather, His goal is a meal of deep engagement, an experience where we linger over the food of His Word, enjoying every morsel. He desires time where I am purposefully captivated by Him. While I am often in a rush, anxious to move on to what is perceived to be more important, He is the God who moves at a schedule that is never hurried. All time is His. His agenda is to never breeze through anything.
My God speaks in a quiet whisper. It seems that the voices that are the loudest are the ones that get the most attention. I react, giving them my attention in order to get the loud voices to quiet down, to still the madness. But as I listen for all that is loud around me, the still, small voice of my massive, majestic God is sometimes buried in a cacophony of sound. I am the one who has lost the tuning of His voice. I am the one who allows all those other things to become more important.
In exactly those moments, I forget. I forget His promises. I forget His abundance. I forget His provision. I forget His presence. I forget.
But, He never stops whispering to my soul. This I know to be true. Even as the dumps threatened to swamp me today, the prayer of my heart was heard by my Father and my focus was drawn to Him. My gaze was called higher to the God who is always faithful and true. I was reminded of His presence. I was reminded of who He is. I was reminded of His care and provision, not just in the global sense, but His care and provision for me.
I might need to set an alarm for a different purpose. It might need to be the daily reminder that I need to fix my gaze on the Father who is always with me.