It was that high school moment every person dreads. I’d confided in a friend. One whom I thought was trustworthy. However, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and listening as my confidence became shared with the entire group in the cabin. Devastated and embarrassed, I never confided in that “friend” again. In fact, I can’t recall a single meaningful conversation with that individual after that moment when my trust was shattered.
I love David’s honesty with God. He was in the midst of battles for territory and power. He was in a tight spot. Refusing to hold back, he let God have it – both barrels blazing.
You have rejected us, O God, and burst forth upon us; you have been angry – now restore us! Psalm 60:1 (NIV)
God! You walked off and left us, kicked our defences to bits And stalked off angry. Come back. Oh please, come back! Psalm 60:1 (MSG)
I’ve had conversations of this nature with God. There have been moments where I’ve told Him that I’ve felt rejected and abandoned. I’ve given voice to my accusations and frustrations. At times, it has felt as if my trust has become unhinged. Quite quickly on the heels of those moments, I’ve felt guilty for railing against the God of the universe because I know He has not abandoned me. But sometimes my heart has felt as if His silence is the sign that He’s had enough.
Is it not you, O God, you who have rejected us and no longer go out with our armies? Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless. Psalm 60:10, 11 (NIV)
You aren’t giving up on us, are you, God? Refusing to go out with our troops? Give us help for the hard task; human help is worthless. Psalm 60:10, 11 (MSG)
But just like David, I have nowhere else to go. In spite of my uncertainties about His presence, I am reminded that there is no one who can truly help me the way I am desperate for help. People can offer all sorts of advice. They can have glimpses into what might or might not work.
At the end of it all, there is one confidence that cannot be shaken. The only One who can take me through the moments of fear, frustration, anger, pain, sorrow, trial and disappointment is the God I love. His presence is there in those moments. His quiet presence is to be cherished.
Frequently, when I look back with the perspective of time, I am amazed to see how close my God was to me in the times of my deepest disappointment and despair. He absolutely gave me “help for the hard task.” In the thick of the battle, I’m often too busy coping to notice His hand. Just because I haven’t noticed doesn’t mean He wasn’t working on my behalf all along. It’s so great to know a God who is there. Whose presence isn’t determined by my emotions. My God is the One who goes into the thick of it with me, sustains me in the middle of it, and brings me through to the other side. Praise Jesus for going with me.