Lists exist. Places I have been. Things my hands and feet have touched. Checkmark! Places I want to go. I want to experience – see and touch and do. Events I want to go to. Sporting events, concerts, theatre – to have sat in the seat, watched it with my eyes. To be able to say I was there.
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.” Isaiah 60:1-3 (NIV)
“Get out of bed, Jerusalem! Wake up. Put your face in the sunlight. God’s bright glory has risen for you. The whole earth is wrapped in darkness, all people sunk in deep darkness, But God rises on you, his sunrise glory breaks over you. Nations will come to your light, kings to your sunburst brightness.” Isaiah 60:1-3 (MSG)
I am not sure I live with the same awareness of my God. Do I have a list of God experiences that I am anticipating? The experiences? See, touch and do with God?
In some ways, I feel like I have stumbled into God experiences. Moments that have rocked me to the core and have reminded me of God’s presence in a tangible way. My cathedral journal records the evidence of God meeting me in those moments. His words to my soul recorded as fast as my hand could write. Desperate scribbles attempting to capture the moment when God was near.
But shouldn’t every day and every part of my life really be a record of God’s presence?
I think my vision is skewed. I think I’m looking for something big, something demonstrative. God does do big things. But while I’m on the lookout for big things, I’m missing all of the small moments which are also the signs of God’s presence and moving in my life. It’s the small moments I take for granted. It’s the small moments I miss because they don’t seem significant enough.
But those small, ordinary moments of God’s presence are so important. They demonstrate His constancy. They demonstrate His affection. They demonstrate His knowledge of me. They demonstrate His love. They demonstrate His attention to the details of my life. They demonstrate His detail. I think the small reminders of His presence might almost be more important than the big ones. I need to notice them. They are happening all the time and I have been unaware.
I was recently reminded that it is usually in reflection that the moments of God’s presence in a day are noticed. Ignatius Loyola’s followers were asked to reflect on their days as they turned in for the night. In their reflection, they were to ask “Lord, show me how you were with me today.” (Jethani, S., 2017)
I want to be aware of God’s presence. I want to see what He is doing in my life. I want to know because then I will live more fully with the One who loves me best.
Jethani, S. (2017) With God Daily: Ignatius Loyola: Finding God Everywhere [December 22, 2017 Devotional]. Retrieved from https://skyjethani.com/devotionals/