I know faith is about experience. I know my faith grows the more I experience God. The more I see Him move. The more I am shaped. The more I grow to understand.
But sometimes my faith is all about the type of experience. I’m convinced God is with me in the high moments. Faith assured and confident. I question His presence, even His existence in the times when my soul is beaten down and discouraged.
At that time Jesus said, “I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because You have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what You were pleased to do. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:25-30 (emphasis mine)
It’s easy for me to look back at the last few years and see the times where God has showed up in big ways in my life. They’re cathedral moments where I’ve sat still and interacted with God. He’s spoken to my soul in deep and profound ways. I’ve walked away from every one of those experiences changed, tears cried, heart impacted.
The harder ones to see are the subtle moments. The times where it hasn’t felt like a life-altering revelation (and yet it really was). These moments I take for granted. I gloss over them – they can’t really be that important. But they are. They should be reminding me of how deep my Father’s love is for me. Every song that’s been part of my day, every moment where truth has shaken a lie, every friend who speaks truth to me, every moment of quiet reflection – these are all subtle and not-so-subtle ways that God continues to reveal Himself to me.
I’m quick to gloss over the subtle moments. Instead of having a tender heart, I brush the revelation of my loving Father aside. But while I easily limit my faith experiences to the big moments, God wants to again show me that He is in all of it. He knows that in my “wisdom” I will overlook His working in me. But I was reminded again that my “wisdom” is not what is being asked of me. Instead, He desires my heart to be tender to what He is doing. To see anew how He is lavishing me in love and kindness. To have my eyes open to what He is doing so that I am able to join Him on the journey that is my life. To be tender. To be soft so that I may hear His voice and know that it is He who calls me on.