It was the morning of a funeral. The second within the same month. Two I loved were now in Jesus’ presence. I knew the day would be hard. I knew it would be long. Tears would flow. Grief expressed in memory, laughter, tears, conversation. I wasn’t sure I had stamina for it.
“You are the bread of life, Jesus
You are the bread of life, I bow to you”
These were the lyrics running through my head. They were on repeat all day long. Each moment when grief seemed to overwhelm, they came back to remind me that death did not have the final say.
Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35 (NIV)
Jesus said, “I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.” John 6:35 (MSG)
I am in desperate need of the Bread of Life. I long for life. Life that is … and here I need to be careful because I look at other lives and compare mine to theirs. No spouse, a spouse. No children, children. One, a couple. I weigh my life in the balance of my expectations and I declare it wanting, lonely, not good enough.
I need to come back to life that is … unique. I didn’t plan this. It wasn’t what I expected. It’s had blessings beyond what I can imagine. It’s had valleys that dug down deeper into the earth than I could have predicted. But each part of the journey has had a purpose. Life, the Giver of Life, the Bread of Life has been there for all of it.
Bread nourishes. It satisfies and sustains. It fills. How much more so, the Bread of Life. Jesus did not come just to satisfy my physical hunger. He came to satisfy the hunger of my soul for meaning, purpose and direction. The life He promises is one that is beyond my understanding. It is a life with twists and turns. A life with correction and discipline. A life with suffering and sorrow. A life with joy and excitement. A life that looks like what I expected and simultaneously like nothing I could have anticipated. But that life is only found in Him.
When I try to go it alone – to solve my own problems and provide my own joy – I give in to comparison and my feelings outweigh my faith. Discouragement and hopelessness swamp me and doubt rages all around. But, I was not meant to align my life with myself. True life is not found here.
The full life, the life with abundant joy, peace and hope, regardless of circumstance, that life can only be found in the source of all life – the Bread of Life, Jesus.
I bow to Him. He is worthy of my life’s allegiance.
Adoration [Live] Lyrics. (n.d.). Lyrics.com. Retrieved January 7, 2019, from https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/29106922/Matt+Maher.